One old, long journal entry - for a little inspiration.

March 6, 2008
9:45 PM

On this night, I am giving myself permission to be something other than my usual sarcastic, laid-back self. Well, on paper anyway.

This evening, my friend Allie took me to a reading by her favorite author, Anne Lamott. I have been to a number of genuinely interesting readings over the past couple of weeks, courtesy of my sister and her Pen Faulkner program-planning career, so I figured I'd test this one out. Allie has told me about Lamott’s books many times before: they are non-fiction bestsellers, centered upon self-reflection and discovery of faith. She is a feminist, left-wing, born-again Christian. Her reading was, in short, spectacular. Her voice was steady, slightly raspy, soothing, and her personal anecdotes on President Bush were, in fact, very funny. Not exactly what I had expected walking into Olsson’s Books.

Yet it was Lamott’s statement on anger – a burgeoning need for women to allow ourselves to have and express our anger over the current political climate – that really struck a chord. Not only do I feel angry about the comments that surround Hillary Clinton’s candidacy; I am a bit hurt. I’m not sure that I’ve allowed myself to really feel that way until now.

There are people from all walks of life who are willing to say fairly off-putting things about Hillary. They mask true feelings by suggesting that she is an uninteresting candidate; that she is a simple “Mrs. Bill Clinton” who cannot bring together individuals previously uninvolved in the political game. Have you spoken to the caretaker of a 79 year old bed-ridden woman, who asks how to obtain an absentee ballot for her patient to cast a vote for the first time in 20 years? I did so yesterday – she wanted to vote for Hillary.

Tomorrow, in honor of Anne Lamott I will fight the feeling that I get to suppress my anger when someone gags at the thought that “illegal aliens” might obtain a more permanent place in our society, or exclaims that fat people need to get their act together. I will allow myself to be angry at negative comments about Hillary's fashion-sense, and at the thoughts that anything accomplished by a woman will always be gender-marked as “Best Women’s Literature, Art, Athlete," etc. How about, “Best Literature, PERIOD.”

Because perhaps things are as I fear - that a large portion of this country is afraid that a woman might become the best at anything other than winning brownie-bake-offs and WNBA championships. After all, these competitions are deemed important for women alone.

I am not suggesting that having our first, black presidential candidate wouldn’t be a major, welcome milestone – it would. But living in this country should be better. We should be better. We should treat each other better, and understand where to draw the line between sarcasm... and shitty comments about women.